Tuesday, 8 January 2008

The Pirate and "Social Contractor".

Tsze-Kung asked, saying, 'Is there one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one's life?"
The Master said, "Is not Reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others."
-Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC)

Bodohland is the land of contractors, for the contractors, by the contractors.
Mind you, just like all humans, they are all very social animals.
With great pride, we give you The Social Contractor - who "abides" by the "social contract" laid down by himself, even if the goalposts keep shifting on the "level playing field".
For a start, do the "Social Contractor" in Bodohland understand what this word "Reciprocity" means at all?
Maybe they do - and their definition would most probably go like this :-

1. I'm the boss aka "Tuan" - and
I decide on everything, I'm always the best and always "Korrect".
We have a contract and I get all contracts - for all time. Do not question it. Especially that of Petronaz.
3. This is my land, and - even if I sold it to you when it was worthless.
4. Be thankful for that - and as a reward for my acceptance of your money, you have to serve me.
5. I reserve the right to abrogate all earlier contracts and rights that might have been favourable to you, even if it doesn't favour me in the long run.
6. However, should 'my people' object or my pockets run dry, you should be willing to pay me damages - happily.
7. Once you've built something of value, I may exercise my right to acquire it at par value.
8. If I run out of cash, You have to buy it out at 10 times the market value to make me happy- lest I unleash Mr. Chris and Mr. ISA, whom I nurture to "protect" you.
9. In return, I shall give ("sub") you more contracts that are in my name, for which you shall pay me royalties.
10. If you have a problem, refer to articles 1, 2 and 3, or you "boleh keluar/ balik negeri".
(Please refer to your local contractor for further details/ the fine print)

This is very fair contract, from the perspective of the contractor - doesn't matter which color or creed or party he belongs to. For further reading, please go to "Warlords and heavyweights: two peas in a pod"

In short, whatever the contract may say, (just as in the democratic elections of Bolehland), the unwritten mantra, "the Pirate's" greatest commandment is - "I win". All other things have to work around this one infallible Law, or else the contract would be in jeopardy.

All you Bodohlander dissenters, will be given some peanuts to munch on (much like monkeys), should you agree to dance to this music. The social contractor would be eternally grateful to you for playing the game and letting them win on their own terms. The Lead Monkeys will be given a real fat peanut contract. The commoners (non-contractors) will be given their chance to gloat about the peanuts.

One thing is for sure - The Social Contractor (according to some people) wouldn't accept anything other than the above, just as they wouldn't accept "Allah" as the Arabic word for God.
In fact Arabic which has now been hijacked (and pirated), comes under the jurisdiction of the ministry of internal security (I think) - acquired under the spirit of "the contract" (refer item no.7, above).
No amount of debate and logic can change their silly mind on this matter - Allah is only meant for Malay speaking Muslims in this land of Social Contractors.
[On behalf of all thinking people, my humble apologies to all Arab linguists for the piracy. If you have questions, please refer to items 1,2, and 3 in the contract].

The beauty about the Social Contractor is - he/ she has innate ability to deny him/herself and the followers, the truth about anything and everything.
The social contractor of today however isn't the same as those of yesteryears.These days, they come in all colors, shapes, sizes and mental capacity.
The most popular among them have fetishes for the long metallic objects, "beruks", "terowongs" that are "bocor", tolls, Corridors, C4 explosives, "wayar putus", fights with the fairer sex (in and out of parliament or hotel rooms), nasi kandar, PKFZs, OPVs, Petronaz ..... and the list goes on.

The "chosen ones" have always got to be made to feel like bosses, despite being willing slaves, and being fed peanuts by the contractors. This has to be done by depriving their nemesis - the commoner "non-chosen ones" - of equal opportunities or rewards for their efforts in nation building.
These "nons" (as opposed to the "Social contractor Nons") need to be deprived of opportunities so as to make them more resilient during economic hardship, so as to be able to feed the contractors.
If things were to go wrong, social contractor has to be absolved of all sins. Contractors must always have a spin to dump the blame on somebody else, preferably those "Nons" of Chinese, Indian or Hebrew descent. To make things easy, the contractor just has to lump them all together and refer to the "little red dot" down south. The free pirate's media has to be just that - but only as the mouthpiece of the contractor, to get the above mentioned message to the "ignorant Nons".

Of course when all fails and people object, they always have the options of either gagging the "Nons", spraying chemicals and gassing the dissenters, or putting the fear of god in them through this guy called ISA.

ISA has been quite efficient since the days of the white man, when he thought us "Asian Values" of submission, in the face of daylight robbery.
ISA has been the cornerstone of the "volatile stability", provided to all of us by the Social Contractor. He was instrumental in neutralizing and demonizing all "undesirable elements" who might've posed a threat to the Contractor's grip on Contracts (aka Power).

Whatever said and done, the Social Contractor/ Pirate par excellence in the last 50 yrs, is none other than the cross-causeway/border chameleon, Mr. Mahatheeran himself.
He single handedly (with the help of some low-profile philanthropist tycoon sponsors, of course) brought us out of the dark recesses of the third-world, into the showcases of the despotic third-world, all via "negotiated contracts".
He gave new meaning to the word "Contract" and "Correct".
He gave new meaning to the words "Justice", "Law", "Order", "Freedom", "Merit" and "Boleh" (not to mention, "BODOH").

To justify his greatness, he put a sleepy fall guy in his place, to take all the "punches" coming from his downliners and "Nons" while they party- and I'm pretty sure that was part of the Contract.
Hey, who's complaining - I wouldn't mind taking a few "punches" (not the kind that would give me "black eye") myself, if I could sleep peacefully in the corridors, make my bucks and live a jet-set (or "yacht-set", as the case may be) life!
Hell man - I know of people who'd kill for such a negotiated contract!
[Mona Affendy did it for sure ....... and I still wonder if she actually did get away with it, is alive and kicking, like some of her clients - although some kicked the bucket].

All the Contractor needs these days to escape the scrutiny of Bodohlanders and be regarded as a hero, is a piece of tin badge, a piece of paper with a signature and be called a Tune, Granpa (or something like that).
And guess what - the simpletons of Bodohland would drool and go ga-ga over him, in this third-world feudal backwater.
In fact, the people would even bend over (backwards and/or forwards) to pleasure him and his band of contractors!

Such is the state of this beautiful land of Pirates from time immemorial.

Praise the Lord. Hallelujah!
(which means "ALLAHU", according to Deedat, the famous showman/ Godman).


  1. 50 years from now- 2058. Malays 80%, Non Muslim Bumis 5%, Chinese 10%, Indians and Lain2 5%.No more social contract. It's the 1 commandment- Everything belongs to the 'Tuan'. He who questions will see Mr. ISA.
    Sacrificial Non.

  2. There'll be too many "worthy non-contractors" by then, that they'd be fighting among themselves, and would render the many "Tuans" and the contract obsolete.

  3. thegodfather10/01/2008, 08:25

    All this will come to an end soon. The universe has to achieve balance. Trust me on this.

  4. Anak Watan Malaya10/01/2008, 10:02


    I agree with anonymous 16.42.

    Who are you people "kaum pendatang" still bickering/bitching about the 'Tuan' here in Bodohland, when the Social Contract will remain, most probably strengthened further and more goal posts will be move during the games, ever so often????

    Go la, find some other smartland to live and another 'Master' to kowtow to, on another game where there is extra goal posts, to satisfy your ever endless 'dissatisfactions'!

    Let the 'Social Contractors' and the 'Tuans' enjoy their ever changing goal posts in their motherland, wield their Kerises against themselves for a change and pillage and plunder all they want, here!

    After all, these 'Tuans' and 'Social Contractors' never stop you from going, you know!

  5. Dear anak watan,
    You seem to have misundertood - some people are only taught to think that they are the "masters", while being enslaved themselves by "social contracters".
    There are more "kaum pendatang social contractors" than you seem to realize.
    This is not a racist diatribe, as you may have understood.
    It is precisely what your "masters" want you to think - unless of course you are one of them yourself!!
    It is about a nonsensical and wasteful economic policy and human rights (which blinded racists have surrendered) that has been hijacked in the name of "protecting" the "bumiputras". (FYI I've got bumiputra status, myself)
    Peace, man!

  6. I have a dream - the govt devotes 100% of its energy on managing the country, economy and whitewash description of citizens by race and religion for 50 years. Fast forward 50 years, Malaysia is now a rainbow land of happy citizens in the forefront of affluent ist world countries. Then I wake up- and the nightmare world of ketuanan begins again.


NOTE: We do not live in a Legal vacuum.
A pseudonym/ nickname with comments would be much appreciated.